Uncounted - “It might sound cruel, but I have to give it to you straight. Your father is a dying man. He is not going to come back from this. You can give him dialysis if you want, but you are only prolonging the inevitable. He is going to die.”
I never knew the name of that doctor. I don’t even know his face.
Because of COVID-19, I had to make the decision to let my father go over the phone with a doctor I didn’t know.
The decision still haunts me to this day, but it had to be made. Dad had contracted the virus in a nursing home rehab recovering from neck surgery.
He had been on a ventilator for COVID-19 pneumonia for 9 days and every day his prognosis grew grimmer than the day that preceded it. He had signed a “Do Not Resuscitate” order before he agreed to be intubated in the wee hours of the morning on April 2nd, 2020 and I had to obey his wishes.
“You made the right decision for your Father, Ms. Alvino,” the Doctor said, “I want to assure you that he will not pass alone. He will have someone with him and he won’t be alone.”
“Will he be in pain? Does he know he’s dying?” I stammered through sobs.
“No, Ms. Alvino. He will be very comfortable and in no pain. He will pass away peacefully in his sleep.”
And with that, I hung up the phone and went to the bathroom to vomit.
He was one of Governor Andrew Cuomo’s uncounted.
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